The 5-Step CEO Routine with James Murphy

Learn how to go beyond the Fishbowl Effect and how to stay calm in the center of the storm by using the 5-Step CEO Morning Routine, brought to you through the words of James Murphy, a veteran in the transformation industry.

• How to get beyond the Fishbowl Effect to create long-lasting change.
• We’ll identify Four Major Obstacles that we encounter in Business and in Life.
• And the Importance of Letting Go of Your Old Stories in order to create and fulfill your vision. And how to use the CEO Morning Routine to find clarity by being calm and centered, even when the storm is all around you.
• And much, much more.

John Ryan
You're listening to key conversations for leaders. This is episode number two. And welcome everybody. It's John Ryan here. And today we're gonna be talking about how to go beyond the fishbowl effect. And of course, what that is, and how to stay calm in the center of the storm by using the five step CEO morning routine. This is all brought to you through the words of James Murphy, a veteran in the transformation industry. On today's show, we're gonna be talking about how to go Of course beyond the fishbowl effect to create long lasting change. We're going to identify the four major obstacles that we encounter in business in life, and the importance of letting go of your old stories in order to create and fulfill your vision and how to use the CO morning routine to find clarity by being calm and centered even when the storm is all around us. And of course much, much more. Your career started with a conversation and every major professional achievement or setback since then. has also hinged on the conversations you have. Your future as a leader in your organization will continue to be shaped by the quality of the conversations you have with your team, your customers and yourself. This podcast will teach you the keys to effective conversations. Hey, everybody, for today's show, we have a very special guest of James Murphy, executive coach, speaker, consultant and founder of evolution for success. James has been actively working as a coach since 2000, and spent a decade working as a results coach for Anthony Robbins. Welcome to the show, James.

James Murphy
My pleasure, john, thank you very much.

John Ryan
Listen, I wanted to start out by kind of introducing you to our audience and talk a little bit about how did you get started in coaching and tell us a little bit about how you got to this point in your career.

James Murphy
Well, thanks for asking that. You are it's a long but short story. I was on the extended plan to get through college back in Iowa State Got to go five years plus some summer school. And I only bring that in to say that that was kind of my my coming of age in the self help industry so to speak, I found myself crazy overweight, about 240 pounds and was just running up a set of stairs in summer school and something snapped in my head. And then my inner conversation changed. And so I went out and ran two miles at night on the track really super late at night and walked a mile ran another mile and said, Okay, I can do this and then progress from there into the military. And then I prarie progressed from there into some federal law enforcement. And at that point, quote, unquote, had progressed in the self help journey to where everything was supposed to be great, and I was still kind of miserable inside. You know, that conversations in my mind, were not necessarily as productive or as happy as I wanted them to be. And my uncle went to a Tony Robbins event and I said, Hey, great, I'll go to so I signed up for some went out to California. took his introductory seminar did some other seminars and they actually approached me because coaching This was way back in 1999 was just starting up. And it really intrigued me It caught my attention. So I went back took a huge leap of faith resigned from federal law enforcement in the marshal service moved to California and was in a second ever coaching class that Tony Robbins put on and kind of never looked back after that.

John Ryan
You said you were running upstairs and you had this epiphany, this this awakening moment. And and were you running for from something or to something or what was happening there?

James Murphy
Great question. In hindsight, I was running from myself, right. And in the moment, I was taking eight credits of Spanish in eight weeks. So it was pretty one of those intense summer school courses, you know, four and a half hours a day. And it was one of those eerie moments. I literally, I was lived on the second floor of the dorm. And sorry, I kind of If you call it running, I kind of ran up the stairs as much as you can run 240 pounds here, I'm about six foot guy. And it's like, I was the only person there. It was like this eerie moment you'd see in a movie or something. And all I could hear was this heavy breathing. And I'm like, looking around, like, Who's chasing me? And I realized that it was me. There was you know, breathing so hard and all out of shape. And, and I just got really mad. And so I kind of snapped. And so I did, like most people probably do, I did nothing. for about three days, and then the same thing happened again. It was kind of an eerie thing. And that's when I just said, Okay, that's fine that went out that night and round those three miles. And so it was mostly just kind of our inner anger at myself and life and kind of where I was and, and not liking it very much.

John Ryan
And obviously didn't have the tools that you have now as a coach, but we're able to hear the incongruencies or the dissatisfaction that you had at that moment in time.

James Murphy
Absolutely. It was great. inside my head. Wow. Wow.

John Ryan
So, so fast forward going in. And first of all, thank you for your service, not only in the military but also in the police force. But even at that point were able to contribute and give back. You said something else shifted for you what what happened at that point?

James Murphy
Ideally, you know, I think in society we grow up with what's the the, the societal norm or definition of success, of course, and ideally, I had all that I've gotten through college, I dropped 60 pounds, I was about 180 pounds, then I was fit, I was in shape. Had a great job. I think like 17,000 people applied for the marshal service when I took the test. And they hired, you know, 400 of us maybe. So I was definitely you know, quote, unquote, from the external appearances and achiever was successful, had everything I was supposed to have. And I'd go home every night and just be absolutely miserable. Inside the inside the nasty outside the conversations in my head didn't match the external environment. And that's kind of what led me to that and my dad gave me a book, it was called as a man thinketh and, and that really was like my introduction to kind of self help and starting to try to chill out or ease some of this inner voice.

John Ryan
So your dad gave me the book, your uncle introduce you to the Tony Robbins companies. And and from there, once you kind of entered into that personal growth and development world, you know, how did your perspective shift?

James Murphy
Well, initially it was all externally right, do these things have your power move, walk across fire, take the events, there was a lot of great psychology that went through that and that was awesome. And the energy was there. The momentum was there. Ashley kind of ended up going through every one of the the seminar experiences with the Tony Robbins companies with some famous Emily's, so there was some connection there to other folks in my family. So I wasn't like, you know, the only one who is who is saying yes, you can empower yourself and change your life. And probably the biggest thing I got from all the Tony Robbins seminars initially was just that, that this bundled up emotion that I had inside, it didn't control me I could start to channel and control it. And part of that was through language by asking myself different questions using different language and changing some of that internal conversation that wasn't so happy to, to a place of, you know, throw the term out there better empowerment, right with how I was speaking and talking inside my mind.

John Ryan
So really working on your inner game and your outer game at that point, changing your worldview. And then they approached you and said, Hey, come work with our team. We're starting this, you know, results coaching program. And were you part of the first bunch of people who were the Anthony Robbins coaches.

James Murphy
I was just I was in the second coaching class. I don't know how many they've had now, you know, 20 years later, but I was in the second class. So they were still kind of figuring it out. Tony was coming in teaching some portions of the class and it was pretty intense. It was I think, 10 days at the time, pretty much just from like a Tony Robbins seminar, you know, eight or nine in the morning, so whenever you're done at night so it was pretty intense. So what was it like? I mean, that's, you know, behind the curtain, you know, on the other side of the veil, what was it like working with the turnarounds, companies. It was fun. I have to say I love Tony Robbins. I love everything that he stands for. And you know, the immersion that I had there in the psychology really was one that allowed allowed me to transfer from you know, what you call the goldfish effect which is being in the seminar, it's kind of you get you get put in a brand new clean fishbowl for the weekends and you get all this great new oxygen and clean water, clean thoughts, new things, that then you go back Your old fish tank, right, which is your normal life outside of that seminar experience. And so the coaching was a way for me to kind of just be in a cleaner fishbowl for a while and start to monitor and keep things cleaner for me in my head and in my external environment. And so it was it was fun in the immersion experience, because all we did, there was coach. I mean, I was on the phone 810 hours a day. And at one point in time, I think I had about 120 clients assigned to me. Wow. So it was it was intense. And we all were in San Diego at the corporate offices. So the environment was fantastic that my fellow coaches were amazing. And it was just a really awesome high energy environment to be in.

John Ryan
Well, that sounds like you definitely were able to achieve your 10,000 hours very quickly in your coaching career.

James Murphy
Yes, yes, that happened pretty quick. So, but once again, it was kind of that fishbowl effect, right? I was there at the corporate offices with all these other trainers. And is that that morphed over time we ended up moving outside of that that corporate environment working more remotely. And anyway, that's maybe I'm jumping ahead but that was part of the transition of kind of coming back to the own internal conversation again, you can only drown out that inner voice for so long before it starts coming back.

John Ryan
So the inner voice you were hearing at that point, what was the saying?

James Murphy
He was starting to get frustrated again.

You know, love Tony Robbins tools and techniques and he's very much about starting where you are now and creating a great opportunity. And then creating a new emotional state that's anchored in now. The problem with that is the greatest emotional state wins. You know, at this point, I was 3233 years old. And into my later 30s actually, cuz I think I I left the company in 2010. So I was anyway And so you can only rewrite. And it's kind of writing over the, the, if you had an old book of disempowered language, Robins was in a lot of his tools, were really all about just trying to write a new story over the top of all the old stuff. So that's where i, i is a coach, I kind of hit a wall because I could give people all the tools, I could get them in great state and then we get off the phone, or myself, I'd get off the phone and I'd kind of revert back to all my old patterns and I couldn't understand why I was doing. So the NLP training or linguistic programming and timeline work and it gnosis and that really allowed me to kind of open up the traditional coaching model to help people more effectively and it's deeper levels and basically wipe all that old writing out of there, make a new blank page so that then we could use a lot of the Robins tools and creates a new, new story that could be legible and would stick would be more of a long term focus there.

John Ryan
So your message in a way began to diverge from what was going on in there. And you decided after about 10 years that, you know, I got to go out and tell my own stories. Is that kind of what happened?

James Murphy
Well, yes, and no, I was I was, I had all these, you know, I, the simplest way for me to describe it is it's kind of like a number line. The coaching model is great if you're at zero, which is where you are now, that's step number one and then define where you want to be somewhere out there at 10. And then the coaches proficiency comes in because they can understand all the behaviors and the obstacles that you set in place, right, the mental, emotional, physical, spiritual things between the zero and the 10. And then you can if you understand what all those obstacles are mentally, emotionally, physically, spiritually, mentally as the self talk emotional as are the feelings or the values that we have. Physical is internal or biochemistry and external strategies and Spiritual peace, right hope and faith and belief that we can do something. Coaching just says great, here's a strategy to overcome that, that obstacle. And then step number five courses to hold people accountable and give them some unconditional love and support and all those things to get them where they want to go. keep them motivated back on that, but I found that that was really only half of a model because I still can't drag in all this stuff from zero to negative 10. forward with me trying to, to succeed and and help these other people. And basically, it turns into that psychological conundrum of the cobblers son that has no shoes, right? He's great at fixing everybody else's shoes. But when it comes to his own kids or his own feet, his own shoes, he doesn't have him. So I found myself in this position, kind of at the end of 2010, as I was moving and transitioning, you know, I'd had 10 years of this immersion experience really helping people and I started to get frustrated because people would come in and I could only help them up to a certain point and then they'd quit or this way happened, that would happen. And, and and I wasn't I knew there had to be a new, deeper layer of change to help them shift. Like I said, all that thinking. And I still had all that thinking. So I had to figure out, something was missing in my mind in the model, and NLP and hypnosis and timeline work. I was great at using it with other people, but I hadn't figured out how to use it for myself yet to clear up my stuff. So that's kind of the piece that was missing was this sense of internal need for something more but not really understanding what it was I couldn't really articulate it at the time. That I mean, it's with their utmost respect. Eventually, I was like, No, Tony Robbins wouldn't work for his own company. So I had to jump up and do my own thing and kind of move to the next level and just sink or swim and figure it out. So that's what happened when I left the company and started my own business.

John Ryan
When you made that shift from working to build someone else's vision to really Creating and fulfilling your own. What kind of, you know, fears came up what what kind of self talk him up that maybe you had to overcome that other people may be going through as well?

James Murphy
Oh my gosh so much. Ah, it was it was great because it was like if you go to the seminars and have some tunes that lasted for weeks and energy and momentum lasts for a week or maybe a month, and then they built the coaching model. So the coaching would sustain that more, right? Because you could have a coaching session once a week and then you'd be pumped up for an extra day two, so you kind of balance that out. But then is it trying to struggle to become an entrepreneur? I had all that accomplished on that has no shoes self taught coming up, you know, I don't know what to do. I can't I'm not you know, I don't know how, what do I do now I've never done this before. You know, I'm a poor kid from Iowa. I had all this baggage. You know, from from my dad was an entrepreneur, my dad's dad was an entrepreneur. It's a long story. I don't want to bring up on my own baggage, but all of my personal stuff that I was bringing forward, whether it was from influences from my father, my father's father, my mom, everybody, that's what I was sitting at my desk battling that's what all those voices in my head where I just couldn't drown them out anymore. And I've kind of self helped myself out. I can only listen to other material for so long. And I didn't know what to what to do with myself.

John Ryan
And that's kind of what I was gonna ask about that. So you have these limiting beliefs. You have these doubts, these fears, these emotions that are there. You're listening to other people to try to help you get out of it. How did you was it external that really got you over the hump? Or was it having a real conversation with yourself what exactly happened help you get through it? It was another pain moment.

James Murphy
You know, using the Tony Robbins ism, right? People only change it when they're there. Having a moment of extreme pleasure or extreme pain, I kind of rode the ship down, you know, the cobblers son that had no shoes, just being 100% transparent for all the people out there who might be listening thinking, Oh, you know, you know he's so he succeeded now etc, etc etc, you know, I became extremely congruent with myself I kept shoving shoving this stuff back down and put myself about $50,000 in debt was not congruent in telling some of the key people in my life and that of course impacted my relationship and some other things and and I remember it was another moment I was sitting in my desk and about 2014 or so and I was thinking to myself 2013 I was thinking, you know what, I can help all these people and I'm adding up all the money that I've made. You know, I'm helping millionaires and all these people on the phone and I'm adding up the amount of money I know that you know, I made like less than $30,000 the first six months Of The Year, and I was 50 grand in debt my son was just hitting college. And I was just inside my head that conversational mess and kind of broke down in tears and did all this stuff and the brilliance of of my NLP trainer Matt James came back in. And I remember being at a seminar and he asked a rhetorical question for learning which is, you know, why are you people going to go home and not use this stuff for yourself and I was the first one to raise my hand. I didn't realize at the time this is what came back I was the first one to raise my hand because I had all the reasons why everybody was going to go home and not use it for themselves. And of course the brain doesn't register the word not start as reinforcing Hi, I was going to go home and not use this stuff on myself. Right. And in so in that moment, I just said you know what, I have to find a way to help myself. And so I hit my moment of pain and I put this this program together for myself to fill that gap of the seminars and coaching And what do you do when you're sitting at your desk all by yourself or whatever and this negative, these negative thoughts come in about, I can't do it or whatever. And what I found was that was the missing piece for me. So I literally spent the next six months I gave myself an immersion course and emotional release, using timeline work, hear different words for it, timeline therapy, time mining, you know, mental emotional release, things like that. And I basically went back and started to clear up all these negative conversations in my head, letting my unconscious mind booked some appointment comes to mind, just let everything go for about six months, and at the end of 2014. without even realizing I hit my two big goals. I had a $10,000 month in my coaching practice. And you got to keep in mind the average coach only makes about 43 $44,000 a year. So I've had a $10,000 month and I made over $100,000 out here without even realizing it, and that was within the six months of me sitting there, you know, not making barely making 30 the first six months of that year, so, this last six months with this immersion of clearing up all these negative conversations and the emotional baggage that I had, I totally kind of blew the doors off my business without even realizing. And it was all cleaning up my inner house and the cobblers son that had no shoes, he finally found that he was good enough to go buy some nice shoes for himself and had the money to do it. So he found some shoes. I love it.

John Ryan
Yeah, so it really, I think that's a big thing in today's world that so many people know what to do. But until they get out of their head and get rid of their head trash, that's what holds them back. And so you really became your probably most important client at that point.

That's what I took. That's funny you say that because that's when people say, hey, James, what do you do and and how would I find your ideal client, unlike anybody who says I know what I need to do, and I'm just Just not doing it.

James Murphy
That's how I kind of describe what I do. But what's really what's really interesting in that is, is, you're absolutely correct. My entire business changed just by shifting and changing the thinking and the thoughts and the feelings and the emotions that were in my head. But it was almost in my heart, right? But it was almost like, just by letting this stuff go, everything else happened naturally, because I got myself back to neutral. And when when you're in neutral, then then you can start to hear you know, this is my message to people out there who are struggling to find their purpose. They're struggling to find some goals and that you can't find it in you can't see it because your vision is blurry. Your vision is blurred by all this, you know, anger, sadness, fear, guilt, these limiting decisions, that stuff that's swirling around in your mind and these negative conversations and if you can just get to a place where you can let those go and get back to neutral. That's where life and opportunity opens up and you really can discover that truth, those internal messages that are authentic about, Hey, this is what I really want to do. But you can't do that until you let this these negative emotional aspects go. I was thinking before we got on the phone, I was like, how would I describe this? It's It's the perfect way to describe this in terms of the conversations I had in my head, because it is like a big tornado. And if you're just looking at it, trying to record it and everything, this tornado, there's just so much wind and so much debris, and everything just swirling around inside my head, and all the answers are in the middle. In that place of calm and that place of centeredness or kind of truth on the inside. That's what everybody's looking for is just that moment of total like peace and perfection and unity and harmony or, you know, truth that you can't get there to figure out what your purpose is, what are your next steps, your next goals in life that you're really going to be emotionally in tune with and really Just hit you with the core. You can't discover that until you, you you release all that debris and get all that stuff that's swirling around from the outside, you got to find a way to to let that go right to disperse all that negative energy in your head in those conversations.

John Ryan
That's fantastic. I love that that message. I love that metaphor. I've never heard that before, but it but it makes so much sense. And it really leads into you know, the power of meditation and being present in the moment. You know, I know a moment ago, James, you said that you really help someone who knows what to do. But for whatever reason, they're not taking action because you help them get to the eye of the storm. So they can be centered no matter what's going on around them. Do you have a preferred focus? You know, most people who work as coaches they work you know, business, relationships, family, health and wellness. What is your preferred focus,

James Murphy
keeping it super simple. It's a two pronged approach. To burn the candle from both ends. So what I mean by that is is always taking a look at where the person is now and keeping them empowered to try to stay and have these moments of truth and where they're moving forward towards. And at the same time, I try to keep a heavy emphasis on clearing up all the negative stuff from the past. So for the listeners out there, if you can imagine it this way it's like it another way of saying it outside the tornado thing is if you can imagine an old ship right and you're sailing across the ocean and if you look off the back end of the ship, there's all these negative anchors that we're all dragging forward from our past and resign because of anger, sadness, fear, guilt, limiting decisions, past girlfriends, boyfriends, whatever all this junk is back there. And if there's a 10 not wind, right we want to be sailing forward and and you can be doing everything right with your coach. You know, I'd be there on the on the deck with you and we have our course charted and everything is great, but we're only making about maybe one not an hour because even though it's a 10, not wind, we got all this stuff. stuff that's dragging us back. So I take a two prong approach, I want to make sure that everything is clean and clear on the deck, everything's working correctly, the sales are up, everything's right, we have clarity, we have focused on where we're going. And then we start chopping these ropes, right, these anchors, all this stuff that's below the surface that we can't see in the unconscious mind. We start working out and chopping that off. And it's like, all of a sudden, we're like, that's the first level of resistance, right? It's letting go of all this negative stuff. And then beautiful stuff happens because with with no additional energy, right, still the 10 not win. But now instead just go in one because we're dragging all this value start going 23456 knots, right faster. If things just pick up naturally, when you do the emotional clearing work with no additional effort. It's like it's the coolest thing ever. And then there's a second form of resistance to clear up though because all of a sudden more negative stuff comes in like oh my gosh, this is too good to be true. Oh my gosh, how long is this gonna last? Because of all this stuff from the past? You got to keep clearing, chopping those anchors in the past or saying oh my gosh, look at all this. This opportunity in front of us not twice as fast three times, it says four times as fast five times as fast. Is the wind gonna keep blowing at 10? What if it goes to 15? You know, I'm not used to my sales being this talk, you know, are this is this going to hold is that going to hold? So there's, there's always resistance in two forms. There's resistance emotionally of stuff to clear up. And then as we start moving forward quicker, better, faster, you know, I hit that hundred thousand dollars a year, all of a sudden, I started to panic that $10,000 a month. So I was just like, $1 more $1 more next month. And then so I hit it the first three months, I was like, Yes. And then the fourth month I went down to 9000 something I was like, Ah, you know, is it clear to clear that stuff up and then it's never happened again. So, so now I just now I have a wonderful opportunity to stretch myself more 11,000 12,000 15,000 17,000 $20,000 a month. Now I just have the pleasure of sitting wherever I want to go quicker, better, faster, with less effort, and I get to choose where I'm going now. And there's so many more destinations for me to choose from that my old path is I don't even Remember what the map was? Right? We're sailing into new territory all the time. So just just another metaphor to talk about, you asked me about when my approaches I like to do both, we need to chop all the anchors and get rid of the negative stuff. And make sure that we seize opportunity and, and, and, you know, find this just more and more moments of peace and happiness and fulfillment. With with the calmer I don't say the commerce storm, but being in the center more, I think in the, in the space where we all want to be where life is just better, easier, faster, and we can achieve more or less.

John Ryan
Well, I love the multi level meaning of you know, having your sales full. I think it's great for a business perspective, as well as ship perspective. So well done on that one. That's fantastic. Thanks. So is there anything, you know, see my business for a second speaking of business, you know, what is it that business business owners should be focused on first and foremost or even talking about internally or externally with their team.

James Murphy
That's a big question.

John Ryan
It's pretty broad. And please forgive me for being so broad, but, you know, to fill the sales so to speak, not just on a sales perspective on the metaphor of the ship. How do you make sure that the the sales are full and you're going in the right direction with the right energy?

James Murphy
Are you looking for for Well, I'll answer that two ways. If you're looking for an external strategy, that's, that's what I love to, to call like your morning or weekly CEO routine. So so taking some time to sit in the center, right? Sit in your place of truth or honor where you want to go in the center of the storm, right? Because there's always some storm or That's right, because that's, that's the natural energy of the universe. It's a dichotomy. I write hot, cold, white, dark. So, but the CEO morning routine has five simple things, it's waking your mind up with some oxygen. That could be exercise physical movement or just doing some deep breathing. If your stomach is going to get in the way, right eating some eating a light, non carb breakfast because if you're waking up your mind you don't want to, you don't want to put your body to sleep with a carb coma. But then the next three pieces are important which is which is reading something to engage your right brain so you have your creative aspect, your creative mind going and then also doing something left brain which is which is reviewing your day reviewing your goals looking at, hey, where am I going with this week or this month or this quarter? You know, or today. And then step number five, of course is just to stop and meditate and see here feel that's the first step I was teaching my clients read, see, hear, feel and start to see things the way that you want them to be in terms of life. Want to create so it's kind of the synthesis of getting your your body in the right space with the oxygen and the settling the stomach so to speak, getting your mind in the right place by engaging your writing your left brain. And then and then meshing it all together or kind of integrating it all together and NLP we call that a parts integration, right bringing all those parts together and and just you know, seeing your life how you want it to be for the day. So for an external strategy, that is a key process for me in terms of a foundation for success, to bring those types of conversations together, because then I can more effectively lead the people in my business that are helping me with do all the it work. You know, the people are helping me and all these other facets of the business and I am better able to help my clients at the same time with a myriad of challenges that they face. In terms of that's on the personal level, but In terms of like a business for a business leader, I think it's, it's, it's really having that, that calm time to have that authentic conversation with yourself so that you can have that authentic conversation with the people that you're reading. And there's many different levels of all that but just having clarity about where you're leading them to being able to ask those questions to engage them, to have that common vision. And then really after that, a lot of it's about listening, I find so that you can let them try to get to that authentic place where they're communicating back with you, so that you can understand how and where you can most effectively help them lead them to overcome you know, their, their weaknesses, their challenges and integrate their strengths at higher levels. That's a really long, long, long answer, but the best way to have conversations is to ask effective questions and listen. I always say in coaching, I love to be To be a great defense lawyer, because defense lawyers always have clarity on where they're going. And they only ask questions for two reasons. One is to gain more information so that they can understand. And then the second one is to start to ask questions to get that person where that person needs to go to achieve the outcome. Right. And, and that's, that's really moving and empowering and leading with with effectiveness.

John Ryan
Well, it seems like that that's exactly where your answer, you know, ended up was not just obviously about leaders, but the importance of mindset, in every area of our lives, you know, as parents, in relationships and even in health and fitness in that routine. You mentioned starting with breath, you know, doing some reading, doing some exercise to get yourself focused. In fact, you know, one of the ways that you and I connected originally was with with a love of running, you know, and I know from our conversations that you're an avid runner, James, am I right about that or what

James Murphy
I logged a few miles in my life.

John Ryan
If I remember correctly, you did a race recently. And I may not be right with the detail so that you ran for an entire day.

James Murphy
Yes, it was. Sorry. It was it was a 12 hour race. So I ran in about 11 and a half hours and about 45 miles.

John Ryan
45 miles. That's incredible. So what was that? What is that like? And how do you even set that as a goal? That seems amazing?

James Murphy
Well, you have to remember I've come a long way since I was the the 240 pound guy who was struggling to run two miles around a track, you know, 11 or 12 at night because I didn't want anybody to see me because my life was full of shame and guilt. So remember, this is after a culmination of what almost 30 years I just turned 50 this last year, so you know, not too bad for 50 year olds but so so but but the part of part of what I would say is just I do what I love. And I was somebody asked me that we just did a Christmas party and somebody asked me, they said, hey, why do you run? And I said, Well, you know, it's, it's about the most whole incomplete experience I could have. Because that's where I have honestly the most authentic conversations with myself. I mentioned earlier, you know, we have this self talk and it's mental, emotional, physical and spiritual. There's different components of all that. And running is where I can find that calm in the middle of the storm, and find myself right in the end of the physical, you know, when you approach the end of your physical rope, is where you can have that most authentic talk and connection with yourself. I believe in any endeavor. So

John Ryan
now you had shared with me previously that this this 12 hour run that you did was not even your longest run. In fact, you did. I don't even know how to describe this amazing What was it? What was it called with the it was like a full day.

James Murphy
It was it was I did 100 mile race back in 2011. And it's just had a 30 hour time limit. And so you just did this 12 and a half mile loop eight times as much as you could and if you finished, finished and so I ran 100 miles, man walked 100 miles in about 27 and a half hours or so.

John Ryan
Wow. That's, that's impressive. What goes through your head? I mean, what do you as a routine? Like, are you listening to Spotify at this point? Or he? I don't know. 2011? I'm not sure they're around. But are you? Like, do you have this amazing playlist? Are you listening to what do you what are you doing in your mind to keep yourself focused for 27 and a half hours 27 plus hours.

James Murphy
You know, it's kind of like the metronome of life. So I was I was working on a on our little Facebook thing the other day and an hour because it's, you know, it's the end of the year at school, setting some of those different Listen this outside of Christmas, whatever, but it's still applicable. And it's a little bit of both. So like when I just did the 12 hour race for the bumper first 20 miles, I didn't listen to anything I just ran and work, just calm down the conversation in my head, and ask myself some better questions like, Hey, what did I want my life to be about in 2019? What were some meaningful goals? What were some of the things that keep coming back and just emotionally kept sticking? Right, and, and so I kind of look, I'm Lincoln, link this up with goal setting. It's kind of like, your goal should be like a good pot of stew or a good pot of coffee or something, you just have to brew for a long time, because you're going to flip back and forth. The metronome is going to come over to one side and you're going to have this emotional moment of oh my gosh, I know what I'm gonna do 100 miles, and the first time I had that, that emotional thing. Oh my gosh. Maybe I had the possibility I could do 100 miles and I signed up. I never even showed up for the race. Right? So So sometimes you're over here and you have this, this conversation inside your head, that's emotional. That's creative. It's that right brain. It's like, Yeah, but that can be you got to be careful that because it's an emotional impulse, right, it's like, it's like a quick jolt, the shot of caffeine and it goes away pretty quick, too. And so it doesn't stick around very long. Because as soon as you walk back in the door, and the left brain hits, like, okay, but oh my gosh, I've never done that before. How am I going to do it? And that negative left brain self talk wins. Like when I signed up for the 100 mile race this first time I quit. I was like, I can't do it. Oh, my knee hurts. I don't know how I'm ever gonna make this happen. All that negative mental stuff came in my head and I was back out to better me so I quit. And so I like to go go work and run and coming back to what you're asking me about. I kind of like the metronome. I like going back and forth between Hey, ha, ha, you know, what am I emotionally charged with? And how would I do that? And what's emotion? What am I emotionally charged with? And how would I do that and, and it takes me like I started in my 2019 goals in September, October. And I just now kind of have them shored up. So I love that metronome effect, as I call it, where you're going back and forth in your mind. And eventually you'll you'll work out your internal self talk, or at least I do, to a point where I can keep coming back to being emotionally invested in it. And then when I flip back over to my left brain and that self talk there, I'm like, Okay, yeah, I can figure out how to do it. I don't know exactly how to do it. But then I can flip back over and be emotionally charged, but then come back over to how am I going to do it and still not quite know every question not know everything on how exactly I'm going to do it, but that's okay. I can keep my hope and my faith engaged and I can get back out and enjoy. Enjoy it again. And, and you just find that that comfortable rhythm back and forth that that comfortable pace Write that works for you. Tony Robbins goes tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, I'm more of a tick, tick. You know, so sir, everybody has to find the right rhythm and the right pace and and so that's what the conversation is, in my mind

John Ryan
currently if I'm if I'm wrong and my understanding here but with it with the metronome going back and forth, that I can get excited about something and want to go for it, but then it might have some emotional charge come up. But as long as it keeps swinging back, then I don't have to get upset that I've had this emotional charge. I can just use it as feedback that I'm actually on the path.

James Murphy
Isn't that the one thing that's most important? I think it is. I mean, I run this because I run, you know, by just down and I coach because I'm just a coach and I help people. So whether you help people because you're a coach or you run because you run or I help people with running or coaching or Whatever, you know, you're a teacher, you're, you're, you're you're a lot more than that one aspect of us you're a teacher and so, you know, bringing bringing information, educating people and empowering them to be the best that they can be. As long as you're, you're authentic with your truth of who you are, is you know, really, and when your path Oh, that's what it was. Thank you bring so many people you said hey, what's what's one of the biggest obstacles that people face? And and it's just having that awareness of you your strengths, your weaknesses, and then the acceptance of that. Yeah. Right. And and once you once you have that awareness, and that acceptance, that's, that's the start of that calm in the center, where you can really start to have that authentic conversation with yourself. Because I don't have to beat myself up but I'm not Tony Robbins going tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, right. I can go with my behavioral style, my speed, and I'm just I'm the long distance guy. You know, I just I just don't give up, I stay focused, and I just keep going. That's my gift. You know, like, my life is the opposite. She's a type eight. She's a go getter. She's like, you know. So having that acceptance and that awareness of who you are in the acceptance of it allows you to have a lot of those key conversations that can help you stay centered.

John Ryan
So the long distance guy, you know, it's Tick tock, tick tock at your own pace. Do you still look for external influences to encourage you on the path to learn from or are you more about finding the truth that's within? At this point?

James Murphy
Yes.

John Ryan
Thanks for clarifying.

James Murphy
Yeah, so So I would say this, right. If you asked me, you said, Hey, James, what are your goals for 2019? I have both. I'd say yeah, guess what, I got a marathon on March second. I have a marathon on May 10. Or may 18. I'm going to do the same 12 hour race. I got Another one in January of 2020, with AI companies or with my client, one of my clients, and then I have a huge goal then in May of 2020. And we're going to try to do 300 miles in six days, two marathons a day for six days. So if you ask me, yes, do I have these long term goals left brained goals? Absolutely. Because Because it's Parkinson's Law, right? All work expands to fill the time allotted for successful completion. So I got the tick over here, that's that's my left brain. That's my logic mapping this out. But then if I go over here to the motivation side of that, and you said, Well, why are you doing that? You know, I don't I yes, have my marathon training plans and all that stuff. But I went out running yesterday, my wife said, how many miles are you going to do? And I said, all and I just walked out my front door and I ended I ended up doing eight, right? So So the key is, it's not one or the other, but it's really the integration of both If I run because I'm a runner, do I have goals? Yes. But I run just because I love to run and, and that's the balance of the metronome and the tick tock. If you said, James, why are you doing this stuff? You know, I'd say, Okay, I'm gonna do a fundraiser and for, you know, operation, underground railroad and all this other stuff. It's helping me stay emotionally engaged and add leverage with my clients. And I tell people, that's part of why I'm just saying it here. If anybody thinks that's arrogant, it's not. I'm actually my own best client when I'm not on the phone. And I'm just creating leverage for myself to make sure I have to follow through. Now that I said it, I put it out there, right. Totally. So So yes, we need both.

John Ryan
Who are you studying right now? What are you reading? What are you into?

James Murphy
I'm into a lot. I'm reading an imaginary running book by Dr. George Sheehan called running and being it's an old classic. I just stumbled across it. Deepak Chopra is you are the universe. I have my Bible. I have 365 days of Zen. I just started reading one of my favorite books again. Which is Ender's Game, which is a science fiction fantasy type of a book. It's all about, you know, our progress of growth is set in a science fiction context. So I read a little bit of everything, whatever I feel like pulling out that morning.

John Ryan
When you think about all the books you've read over the last, you know, almost 20 years of our career and personal growth and development, what are some of the most influential books I imagine as a man thinketh has got to be on the list somewhere.

James Murphy
That's definitely the top not just because my dad gave it to me, but just from the simplicity of it, the depth of it, but the simplicity of it. I have to say, I always not going into the religious concept context, but I've had trouble reading the Bible. But since I've, I've done all this emotional release work and really work to improve my own thinking. You know, they say the Bible's written in three levels. There's the practical real life space. There's the the Emotional context of it and then there's the deeper spiritual aspect of it, I can understand it a lot more. So that's something I've been kind of from a spiritual context, you know? So that's been an interesting thing. Probably the other book that's coming to mind right now is actually Wayne Dyer's book where he wrote on the 365 days of the Dow things called change your destiny or something like that. I forget the name of the book but it That's great. And

So I have all sorts of books. I don't know about you. I don't know if I can say I don't know if I could say I have a favorite because I have one device next to running it's fine books. I'm with a my friend with

John Ryan
speaking of history, James, if I may ask you so let's go back to that that kind of getting to know each other question. If you could have dinner with three people in history. Know who would be What would you talk about?

James Murphy
Great question. Ah, gosh, I thought about that as like, Oh my gosh, who really seriously? What would I do? So I came up with three great names. First time, go back and talk to Jesus. And the reason for that very specifically is there was a span of life where he went off and did all this training, so to speak, and nobody knows what he did. So I would go back and ask him what he did during those those years because I'm theoretical, and I'm curious. Sure. I would love to know what what happened in those middle years where there's no record of it. But he obviously was very much deep in this faith and changed his conversations inside his mind, I'm sure. So that would be number one. And number two would be Ronald Reagan. And I say that only because in reading about him, he had such a unique path, you know, being in a movie an actor, right. Getting movie star, and then transitioning through both of the different political parties not opening a political door right here. But then as you get on the political campaign on his road presidency, he read, or he wrote almost all of his speeches. He didn't have traditional speech writers, as I understand. And he wrote almost everything himself and in and that fascinates me how somebody at that level could be so well educated or have such a grasp on the understanding of the world, especially during that Cold War era. In the course, that's my childhood, where where they would be able, he would be able to be so knowledgeable that he could write all the speeches and all of his campaign work that he did. I just think that's brilliant.

And so and then the third person would be Dr. David Hawkins. He He's passed on now. But he came up with a brilliant set of levels of consciousness based on emotionalism and they then then very influential for me, in regards to clearing up clearing up negative energy right the whole concept of, of emotional clearing, which on a grander scheme leads to enlightenment right you have to clean, clear up your shame, so that you can clear up your guilt so that you can clear your apathy so you can clear up your grief to your fears and your desire to anger, the pride, the courage to be neutral to flipping, living, willing to be accepting to have reason and love and joy and peace and enlightenment. So, so his his explanation and definition of that path is I think all of our ultimate purpose, which is we're put on life to learn our lessons and continue to, to move through these different levels of emotional consciousness. And in doing this emotional release work helps us to That, because then we can truly, truly create the biggest impact as despite being Yeah, right. So I would go back and talk to him because I think he would just be fascinating as a great sense of humor. So, fun conversation. lighten the mood here for a second. And that goes so deep but it just be a fun conversation.

John Ryan
Excellent. Thanks so much for for sharing. When you think about conversation in general, are there any conversational pet peeves that you have?

James Murphy
Yes, someone some someone who watches their words so much that they're never really just authentic.

John Ryan
What do you mean by that?

James Murphy
I'm gonna try to lightly here because I was a member of Toastmasters for many years. Toastmasters is a fantastic organization. I was in it for three years I was president of a club. And and they they want you to speak very soon. They teach a person to sink speak very simple. With all of the tools and never say, never say, ah, as I said, and and in so it's like slowing down to a point where you're thinking about every word so carefully to really present a Polish, clear and focused presentation, it's meticulously thought out and see, I just said I'm again. And so if somebody is watching their words too much, or working to be too much of a quote unquote kind of a perfectionist, I don't know that you ever really get the authentic person coming out. And, and, and I think that that I very much value authenticity, Authenticity, integrity, just saying how you mean it, whether it's truly a left brain sentence or it's just an emotional feeling, having having the opportunity to express yourself to people and have the people accepted that be open to your ideas, and and in Have a neutral non judgmental support. And I'm opening up the box a little bit bigger than what you originally asked for. But people who who are too closed because they're worried about what other people would think, or they can't be authentic, they can't, you know, have the opportunity to work through their storm and find that place of truth for themselves. I think that's a very valuable place to be able to tap into and to go to so I think my only real pet peeve in terms of speaking is is to either not speak your truth or to cover it up. And I think those are probably the two biggest problems.

John Ryan
If I hear you correctly, are you saying then what's more important is the perfected message and the delivery but but the the true voice and being willing to be vulnerable and in being less than perfect which we all are, of course,

James Murphy
absolutely because being less than Perfect, perfect. So So I think, you know, the real way that you connect with people as is is just by being authentic. And and because remember the judgment that may be my point of view. So so you know if I'm like dude saying something are communicating to because I don't want any drama, I might actually be creating that drama. So, you know, we have to speak up, I just encourage true authentic communication in its imperfection. And if we're so worried about fear or not being loved or not being accepted or not, not having that connection with other people or not being able to speak our truth and have other people be open to it or we get condemned for it or, or whatever that is, I mean, opposites attract ideas and speaking and communicating differences of opinion is, is I think, you know, the core of what makes us all unique individuals, right. You have your perspective. I have my perspectives. Nobody else will ever have a perspective like we have. So if we can't communicate that and share it authentically, and and have a conversation, like we have had today, what you agree with, you know, you may hate running wonderful, you know, you may that's why I said before, you may perceive me as being arrogant, because I told you my big goal, but that's not my, that's not my communication. You know, in NLP we say, your communication, the meaning of your communication is in is in how the other person perceives it. So you have to try to be as truthful and authentic as you can. So the other person can see that in your communication otherwise, it's, it's not there and having the dialogue back and forth to get to those places. So I really understand you, you really understand me and that's what in the end brings us together even if we agree to disagree. So, so yeah, so in authentic communication is I think really a disservice.

John Ryan
Would you say then at that point, then there The issue is with someone trying to put on a show rather than just being themselves. Yeah. Thanks for being succinct. I did answer, ask a yes or no question. Fair enough.

James Murphy
Thank you. Thank you for putting a three minute response into one second.

John Ryan
I'm trying to be good listener.

James Murphy
Yeah. Sr, you're authentic in your communication. I love it.

John Ryan
Well, let's, let's flip it around that and so, if authenticity is part of what makes a good conversationalist, then what else do you see are some other attributes of people that you may have seen? Who are you know, perhaps the best conversationalist or at least the most authentic perhaps the people who can ask a great question

James Murphy
and listen, because it because very simply stated, you only have to have one great question to have an incredible level of communication because if you can ask one very thoughtful questions that will allow the other person to open up and be a little bit more authentic than they were to share a little bit of that swirling tornado inside their mind that they think you know, only they have. When you listen, you have to calm down your tornado and listen and people will give you all you need to have a follow up question and another follow up question and another follow up question. And it's the greatest gift you can give somebody it's unconditional love and acceptance. When when someone feels comfortable enough, just because you ask a question and they can open up and be themselves. It's one of the greatest gifts we can actually give each other. Is is the gift of listening and asking another question having a real interest in in other people and what they have to say and that's what you're doing. You're asking fantastic questions. And you've probably talked 10 minutes out of this last hour and I've talked to 50 so it's it's the one of the greatest gifts. They have We can give another person.

John Ryan
Well, James, I really appreciate your time. Thank you so much for spending your time with us and sharing about your experience and your analogies and metaphors and words of wisdom for sure. Thank you so much, obviously saying

James Murphy
Thank you, John.

John Ryan
To find out more about James Murphy and to connect with him head on over to evolution for success, calm, and schedule a free success now session, like you said, If you know exactly what it is you need to do in life, in your business, in your relationships in your health and fitness. But for some reason, you're not doing it because of the mindset head on over. Take that 45 to 60 minutes session and start creating some results in your life today. So that's James Murphy at evolution for success calm. Thanks for listening to key conversations for leaders with your host John Ryan. One of the themes from today's show was about finding your purpose. If you'd like help finding and clarifying your purpose button visit www.keyconvo.com/free pick up a copy of my free report seven reasons why you need a big why.